The bucatini shortage recently reported by Newsweek is actually the result of a scheme by Nelson Bunker Hunt to corner the entire niche-pasta market. The supposedly “dead” oil billionaire, who tried to corner the silver market in the 1980’s, is on video telling his cronies, “after we get whatever price we ask for a pound of bucatini…we’re going after orecchiette! That’s Italian for ‘little ears.’ Bwahahaha!”
Vladimir Putin’s murderous, unsmiling persona actually conceals a murderous, unsmiling person.
The effort to make Americans wear masks is part of a vast medical-wing conspiracy to keep people from dying a horrible, suffocating death.
The move towards mail-in voting, extended early voting, and online voting are all part of an insidious conspiracy to make voting not such a pain in the ass.
The non-traditional, diverse casting of the costume drama “Bridgerton” is the result of a conspiracy to make stupid, uptight people feel oddly uncomfortable.
The actions of Georgia senators David Perdue and Kelly Loeffler, who used early inside information on the coming pandemic to make a windfall profit on the stock market by investing in online-conferencing and medical equipment companies, was part of a conspiracy to funnel millions of dollars to David Perdue and Kelly Loeffler.
The election of Joseph Biden Jr. to the U.S. presidency is nothing less than the fruit of a massive conspiracy by American voters, attempting to avoid four more years of stupid, venal, traitorous, and dangerously incompetent leadership.
My practice of staying at home as much as possible is part of an under-the-radar scheme to stay alive at least long enough to see The Combover Who Would Be King take a long, last helicopter ride out of town.
The charter flight of University of Texas students to a massive, crowded week-long party in Cabo San Lucas over Spring Break 2020, when the dangers of COVID were already known, was actually…just your usual college-student idiocy.
The fact that I have an entire closet stashed with cans of chili, bags of tortilla chips, and cases of beer is not as closely tied to the pandemic as you might think.
The Garden of Eaton 